** IF...

Some extremely interesting things to ponder about...

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If a turtle loses it's shell, is it naked or homeless?

If a fly lost it's wings, would it be called a walk?

If you try to fail, but succeed, which have you done?

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.

If at first you don't succeed, act like you never started.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, try again, then quit. No use being a fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, you aren't bribing the right people.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished. [*coff* this one was written for the menfolk *coff*]. (:P just teasin ya!:)

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, obviously you have no conception of the magnitude of the problem.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you must be at least a foot shorter than them.

If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.
- Japanese Proverb

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you have one?

If women are the fair sex, are men the unfair?

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down.
If the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down.
If the bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will exceed all expectations.
- Rev. Chichester

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't
If you would like to win, but think you can't,
It's almost certain you won't.
Life's battle doesn't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But sooner or later, the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.
- Walter D. Wintle


=) Rads