...Untitled Narrative...

...The demons came again today. I tried to pretend they weren't there, but that didn't keep them away. They just looked at me when I cried out for help. Not one of them moved in an attempt to acknowledge my plea. They just sat and stared... They didn't care.

Sometimes when they come I wish they were dead. Once they come inside my head, I can't stop the pain. It always feels like they're bashing my skull against a wall; it hurts so much. It hurts for days... and there's nothing I can do to stop them.

Today when they came, I was still under medication. Oddly enough, I sought comfort in my sedated state... At least this way I had an excuse for not fighting them - I hadn't the strength. But when I awoke it all came rushing back to me. What about now? I'm awake and I'm fully aware of my surroundings. What about now? The medication had worn off and I could think clearly.

I can see their outlines through the glass as they stare at me - the lab animal I had become. They're coming to sedate me again. Why do they do this? What can I do against all of them? What are they so afraid of?

The door creaked open and four whitecoats entered. Three held me down while the fourth injected some poison into my veins. I flinched in agony and then the dizziness overtook again. I dreaded this animal - imprisoned existence, where I existed only to serve their needs. The only memories I have of this place are the whitecoats... their outlines behind the glass... their maliciously piercing stares... the medication... and the demons.

Oh how I would like to forget them! But for the first time, I got an answer to a question I constantly asked myself: what were they afraid of? Before I succumbed once more to the realm of unconsciousness, I SAW the answer. I SAW the fear in their eyes - as if they were looking at death itself. I SAW their desperation to have me controlled... and I understood! For the first time since it all began I understood. And I know I liked it... They were afraid of ME!

© 1997 Radica